Redneck Pick Up Lines

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They had been at each other’s throat for some time and felt that this was their last straw. “It’s just too hot to wear clothes today,” complained a man to his wife as he stepped out of the shower. Because he wanted to get to the other side.

Questions should also be limited to this period as you stand a much better chance of getting an immediate response. A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. You go curves like a racetrack, and tonight, I'm gonna be your Ricky Bobby.

Senior Citizen Cartoons, Merriment, Humor, Jokes, and Fun! (and NO annoying ads!)

A man goes into a drugstore and asks the pharmacist if he can give him something for the hiccups. The pharmacist promptly reaches out and slaps the man's face. He jots down notes for his speech. Unfortunately, when he stands in front of his colleagues later that night, he finds that he can't read his notes. A new drug for Yuppies: It doesn't give a false sense of security or relaxation -- it makes you enjoy being tense. A man goes in for an interview for a job as a TV news broadcaster. The interview went quite well but the trouble was he kept winking and stammering. So the man reached into his pocket. Embarrassingly he pulled out loads of condoms of every variety - ribbed, flavoured, colored and everything before he found the packet of aspirin. He took the aspirin and soon talked perfectly and stopped winking. A couple days before the cruise, the travel agent calls and says the cruise has been canceled, but he can get them on a three-day cruise instead. Next day, the agent calls back and says he now can book a five-day cruise. The guy says he'll take it. Returns to the same pharmacy and buys two more Dramamine and two more condoms. The following day, the travel agent calls again and says he can now book an eight-day cruise. The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants. We're having dinner with her parents, and then we're going out. And I've got a feeling I'm gonna get lucky after that. Once she's had me, she'll want me all the time, so you'd better give me the 12 pack. Later that evening, he sits down to dinner with his girlfriend and her parents. He asks if he might give the blessing, and they agree. He begins the prayer, but continues praying for several minutes. It changes their blood type. An elderly woman went into the doctor's office. Smith, but you're 75 years old. What possible use could you have for birth control pills? The pharmacist walks out to the parking lot and asks the woman whats the matter. Customer gets a topical cream. Direction: apply locally two times a day. A funeral procession is going up a steep hill on main street when the door of the hearst flys open and the coffin falls out then speeds down main street into a pharmacy and crashes into the counter. The customer thanks him and obliges. Finishing his last glass of water, the customer exits the pharmacy. Once outside he stops, takes a few faltering steps, then hugs a telephone pole. The boss, having witnessed the entire scene, approaches the clerk and asks him what he recommended. Finally the pharmacist asks the couple what's the matter. After we read all those potential side-effects, my husband said ' Ah honey.. I don't what you taking that stuff.. Just one, but he has to do it ten days, three times a day. Two young pharmacists are talking professionally at their office. Gal Pharmacist: with coating, because I don't want to release granules earlier. Boy Pharmacist: So, Shall I start molding? Gal Pharmacist: No, No... Guy runs into a pharmacy. I've got a splinter in my finger and I don't know what to do! Try this black salve.

The Montana Wage and Hour Department claimed he was not paying proper wages to his farmer dating jokes and sent an agent out to interview him. We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on. He commented to the man next to the empty seat how strange it was to see an empty seat at such a big game. After he finishes the drink, he peeks inside his shirt pocket, then he orders the bartender to prepare another double martini. And the Heaneys, who'd arrived feeling a little nervous, were smiling. Two young pharmacists are talking professionally at their office. She went into town with Dad.